Real Monday mc also macam chao keng

Yes I said it. Even though you might be sleeping on the floor beside Death's bed, people's first thought is 'Chao Keng' or skive. Second thought would then be 'Long weekend hor, sibeh good idea' and then next Monday will be their turn.

Since I mentioned death's bed, side story coming up. My favourite Death character is the one from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. He didn't actually need a bed, He just had one so that He could try to relate to humans.

he speaks in small caps, makes you imagine reading a booming voice in your head

Here is the order to enjoy his books, and many a times have I laughed out loud in public transport just by reading them. Most of our libraries will carry a couple of his novels, so do borrow one to start reading. I dare say that I have picked up the joy of writing by trying, and not succeeding in any way, to replicate his writing style. 

May you rest in peace Sir Terence David John Pratchett OBE (28 April 1948 – 12 March 2015). You are an inspiration, a motivation and an institution all by yourself. I will be purchasing and displaying the full set of the Discworld series once I move into my own home. No jokes here, his books are beyond awesome! 

As I was saying, reporting sick. The unfortunate stigma of taking mc on Monday is that people associate it with Monday blues, instead of you being actually ill. Then again, with most clinics seeing more than double the number of patients on a Monday morning, it does lend some credence to that misconception. 

imagine you trying to fake an mc

But of course, not all doctors are like that, some are actually sympathetic and choose to diagnose you with the benefit of (Monday) doubt. My personal doctor takes his treatment really seriously, and I'm so thankful he also almost always ignores the strong alcohol smell that engulfs his consultation room when I'm there.

if doctors kept it real

I can totally imagine a no nonsense doctor telling this to you should nothing be found wrong and you just need the mc to sleep the day away. That would totally suck. And hilarious too if you needed a water cooler story. 

Of course, some doctors will actually find something wrong with you, even though you thought you were: (a) there cos you keng or (b) having a yearly checkup. This is where a lot of tact and light humour will do wonders to lessen the blow of bad news.

i bet the smile helps too

Of course I would never wish for anyone to be of ill-health. Good health is more important than all the wealth in the world. If you are terminally unwell, ridiculously rich, and was touched to tears by my well wishes, pm me for my bank account so that I can literally show you that all that wealth in your world didn't make you any happier. And if you feel happy seeing others happy, what are you waiting for with that pm? 

So then doctors would ask more questions to determine how any current conditions came about, and I recall what was recently asked of me during the blood donation (refer to earlier post on squirting nurses).

honesty isn't always the best policy

The cute doctor was probably sniggering inside when I was describing my non-existent sex life, albeit in a slightly different conversation from above. Although in my head, I imagined her asking me in a way that overlooks her appearance and highlights her professional qualifications.

I wouldn't have dared said this out loud though, kind of why my blood is ridiculously safe for blood transfusion, apart from the high alcohol content. Oh woe betide me. This is where I am looking for female volunteers to assist the doctor in the diagnosis. Anyone?

So to conclude, unless you are really unwell on Mondays, try to avoid taking that mc. And if you still decide to get one, at least take for 2 days to make it a shitload more believable.

Signing off,
KJ

 

 














Fun Fact: I've been told I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.