Delicious Fleshy Ba Zang

Happy midweek everyone! 

It has been a while since I looked at my blog, which is probably why the weekly count dropped from the usual 10 views to only 3. I wonder why my viewership so low, I even added skimpily clad ladies in all my blog posts. I thought that would draw in the audience. Unless of course my friends are gay and they prefer my scantily clad pics instead. Regardless, I got to pull my socks up if I need more readers.

done

Groan all you want, my age says I'm allowed to start cracking dad jokes. 

I like to wish everyone a happy Dragon Boat Festival, and here's hoping everyone managed to get your own Dragon Boat. The origins of this festival can be found on Wikipedia so I will not go into it too much, since I'm pretty sure we learnt about it way back in early childhood education. Mostly I remember it because of the wide variety of 粽子 (glutinous rice dumplings) that I got to eat. I dun think it's gluten free, so probably not that popular with the modern day whiners gourmands.

there are even more varieties than this

Hopefully the stall owner or helper is slightly attractive to help you choose the best possible stall to buy from. I mean, I was drawn to this particular outlet because the food was visually appealing.

Looks deliciously fleshy right? That's why I patronised the stall. For the 2 Ba Zhangs. If you haven't had the chance to try any, and also think life is like a box of chocolates, just order one of each flavour at your nearest ba zhang stall. The variety of tastes will surprise you, and more surprising than waking up sober beside your one night stand with her make up removed. Kudos if you noticed a pause between the previous sentence and this one, it's because I had a flashback moment. Pui.

Anyway, I have to blame watering holes for putting me in those situations in the first place. For example, a prime culprit would be Al Capone's Ristorante & Bar at SCAPE. Go look at their menu in the link above. Buay tahan (can't take it) leh. How can you serve 3 bottles of Heineken at $13 nett? There's no way i will know when to stop ordering...

I can't even remember ordering the fires!

Not to mention a full pint of Guinness at $8.80nett? Or even worse, bundle it together with a lamb shank and only charge $25 nett? Simi sai... How can you expect people to stay sober and make sound judgements when picking up girls there? Wake up your idea hor, cheap drinks means bingeing without burning your wallet. So evil.

After bingeing, I needed to eat food at a place where I had to work out a bit in order to consume it. No, not at a juice bar in a gym. So I remembered this Japanese restaurant beside Zsofi at Dunlop St. Seiwaa Singapore is a place where you can cook your own Okonomiyaki to impress your date. And it comes with instructions so you dun have to feel paiseh. Good thing I do cook in my spare time so that skill-set came in handy.

Before

During

very professional

Completion

Try saying that does not look appetising! Of course I may have had help with the garnishing, but I'm a decent cook ok. And it actually tastes good, especially with an array of condiments on your table to tweak the taste to suit your palate. Side note to the ladies, I'll also whip up a delicious breakfast for you in the morning. Wink wink. Yes I know the hard-selling isn't working, stop laughing at me.

We also ordered the Monjayaki, which is pretty much the same thing, but with gravy.

I've added the pics of the cooking process in sequence. Which wasn't cooked by me, I'm not that good. There's even a short video that I took of the staff cooking. Let me figure out how to load on YouTube and then link it here. I did put in effort to sample it while it's still hot, so I could taste the full flavour of the dish.

serious food taster

I'll have to say, the house sake Monjayaki tasted great, especially with the house sake added cheese. You will be shovelling it repeatedly from hot plate to mouth.

So there you have it, a short review of the weekend I had. I did burn off my fats with an intense Sunday morning soccer session, and I even knocked in 2 goals for once. Heck, the first would have been a really spectacular overhead kick but I missed by inches. 

Back me up on this, guys. You know who you are, you were just as amazed as I was.

Signing off,
KJ

Fun Fact: Morning surprise after one night stands are a leading cause of heart attack for both genders, especially after sobering up.

Korean One Noon Stand, details in post!

What kind I say, it was a one-off thing. Really. I needed to get it out of my system, so dun judge me. A guy has needs, and when an opportunity like this presents itself, not to mention with easy access from home, I just had to grab it with both hands. 

Do not judge me. 

You tell me that you can resist temptation, especially after watching it on your computer via one of those streaming sites. Rather than just 'doing it yourself', wouldn't you get 'outside help' after being tempted to bursting point?

I wasn't even thinking about it, to be honest. I think cos I had a late night out previously, and then as per all other nights it ended with me heading home all by myself, again. So while I was out strolling around for lunch the next morning, my eye kept veering to this Korean. It was lust at first sight. Pure, visceral lust. The kind that you feel stirring and even fizzing up strongly within you.  

I'm not sure what compelled me to walk over, or what made me even ask how much it would cost to satisfy my urges. I can only say, the whole time from start till end, I was drooling and perspiring and yet there was still no reason for me to go slow. I needed to push on, even when I was beyond my limits, I just couldn't bring myself to stop!

Jinjja!! Chicken

Nothing else to say except cravings satisfied. Jjajangmyun (Minced Meat Bean Paste Noodles) looks super shiok on TV, especially on variety shows like Running Man, 1 Night 2 Days, Infinity Challenge, etc where the cast slurp the noodles with gusto. See liao instant craving. Admittedly I over ordered, since it's supposed to be an 'either or' option for your meal, but I just had to have a combination of both.

Give it a while, your eyes will adjust

Just too bad there's no Soju, it would have gone down perfectly. But it's at Clementi Mall, and since that's a very family friendly mall, surrounded by schools, few outlets there have an alcohol licence for fun people like me. 

So I'm sorry to disappoint if you thought I had a hot, steamy session with a Korean babe. I dun have that kind of luck la. It was more a steaming bowl of noodles and spicy chicken wings that got me perspiring. And was too full, but I had to make myself finish the food. Meet me in person and you'll see that I look just as bad as in my photos. And dun say Korean, Singaporean ladies also shun me like I have Zika, or worse, as if I am a Kong Hee AND Amos Yee die-hard fan. Nope, not adding any links to them.

I need to give a special shout-out to Clover Films for graciously letting me have preview tickets to the movie 'This is Not What I Expected' starring the forever young Takeshi Kaneshiro.

It's actually a pretty funny Rom-Com, although I recommend that you grab a bite to eat before heading into the theatre, cos right at the start there's cooking involved. I swear my stomach growling was much louder than the sound system, and the sizzling sounds from the steak, the stir-frying of the other ingredients and the soup being boiled over, all these were not helping. Barely 5 minutes into the show and I was hoping the show would end soon so that I can go for dinner.

I'm not going to tell you the plot, or the ending, so head to the theatres and catch it yourself, you cheap, down-loading from piracy site, person. Bear in mind, if one day the film-makers find no value in producing movies for gate receipts, then they won't be producing movies in future. Means nothing for you to download. Then how, all go back to playing Monopoly and losing your friends ah? 

I want to say not really, but...

So after that wonderful movie, we proceeded to have a simple dinner at my regular dining spot in Clarke Quay. There's this magical place called SQUE Rotisserie and Alehouse. 1 for 1 beer, practically from opening hours till closing. This I can personally prove, since I did once drink from 11.30am till 11pm over here.

And although there's a gap in between, you can order a few sets and HOLD them while you wait for Happy Hour to start again. No such thing as it has to be served in 15 minutes maximum. How awesome is that!

They gave us seats as close to the river as possible too!

Review of the food: Anything from the menu is a good bet. Portions are generous, so if you are not a big eater, share. 

Review of the drinks: It's 1 for 1, in town area, with river view. If that still isn't good enough for you, then drink at kopitiam while watching YouTube videos of water flowing.

In case you've noticed something at the corner of the 1st photo, yes you are really observant and you're right. That pint of Singha beer is mine. I think it's only $14.80++ for 2 pints. TWO!!! The cider isn't mine, but it was a really good choice cos the weather was warm and it came with a lot of ice. I used some for my beer too, cos you know, I like my beer Uncle style. Try out this place, you'll keep coming back. I have been drunk here since 2011, no better endorsement than that.

Of course that happened early on in the week due to the Vesak Day public holiday, and it was a nice break from work for a bit. But thereafter for the weekend, alcohol free time was needed. Heck, I'm writing all these after being absolutely exhausted from Sunday morning soccer. Although I suspect the reason I was tired really easily was due to a late Saturday night dinner at Clarke Quay, no alcohol as mentioned. I drove instead of the usual Grab/Uber ride, so not even a drop of beer would have passed through my lips.

Instead though, we had Lobster King Ramen from the Keisuke chain of restaurants. They do have different flavours of broth at other outlets, but that's for another day where I need more cholesterol in my system.

Taste test: 

There were free flow of hard-boiled eggs on every table, and there was mayonnaise too. Sinfully shiok. Instant egg salad. I had 2 eggs, and then was a little too full for the rest of the food. Because cheapo Singaporean me.

For starters though, we tried out their Beef Tataki. Squeeze in that lemon slice, and prepare a small dish of soy sauce, trust me. The beef tasted fresh, but really light on flavour so I wasn't that impressed. Those condiments were very necessary. Oh oh, it came with onions, and those were gooood. So for this side dish, I recommend the onion slices as the main taste.

The pork gyozas, well, just fantastic. Slightly fried, and when you bite into it, soup squirts out. Hur hur. Sorry, was thinking dirty for a while. The plating comes with a small depression off the side so that you can mix some white vinegar and chilli oil, very convenient. Best dish of the night. By the way, it's not Halal certified (in case the name 'pork gyoza' didn't clue you in) so please avoid asking your Muslim friends to try it with you. The staff did assure me that they are looking to bring in Halal pork soon, so fingers crossed.

Really great first spoonful of soup. Plus I had to try clear broth ramen, never had that at all. Since you had a choice of the type of broth, the intensity of the soup flavour, the chewiness of the noodle and the spiciness, it's pretty much customisable to suit any individual's palate. I chose normal on all three options of the noodles, and the first taste did not disappoint. Again, I wasn't flying in the air, but the lobster taste was really pronounced.

After that leh... it went a bit flat. Maybe cos I was too full of eggs, or that the aircon (not a complaint, it is needed in this crazy weather) cooled the soup too quickly. Cos after 10 mins or so, it started to taste exactly like a bowl of prawn noodle soup. At a food court. And I'm not even trying to be funny here. So unless you are really hungry, and can gulp down the noodles before the soup cools off, I think the 30 min queue might not be for everyone. Except those who like free wifi so they can play their games outdoor. Thank you Capitaland. Hugs.

To add, I would also like to apologise to a few people whom I could not meet over the weekend. I know I messed up your filming schedule, and for that I am full of remorse. My sincere apologies.

And to conclude, I wish all mothers out there had a wonderful Mothers' Day weekend. My mum had to travel for work so we had our dinner on Vesak Day. Do check out my Instagram or Facebook feeds, I posted a couple of pictures and videos of the happy family outing.

Signing off,
KJ

 










Fun Fact: Noodles are mostly long.

Mix Collagen and Antioxidants in a cup

I think it's time for me to say nice things about where I work. Plus this allows for some free publicity, however little people there are reading my blog.

I asked a visitor to try out his fish-eye lens

As you can see from above, we were at this year's HR Summit at Suntec City.

Full credit to the guys at The Yacht Club for taking the photo above, I think I look better from a distance too. And I found out that they have really great promotional rates for their yacht rentals, with a wide variety of choices. Staff strength of 500? Wedding for a cosy event? There's a yacht just catered for you! I can only hope that they invite me along for their next photoshoot event.

I promise not to drool, really

It was a good experience, and was a decent chance for us to get fresh-ish leads for future potential business. After all, when the economy is on a bit of a downtime, that's the best opportunity to get some soft skills training to keep the staff updated. You can't be expecting them to go for training when business is booming and they are struggling for time management as it is.

so handsome

Notice the good looking guy wall design. Yes, we are voted the Best Corporate Training Provider not just in 2016, but have also been so for the past few years running. All the more reason to sign up for our courses! My office phone better be ringing off the hook after this post goes up...

However, as there were quite a decent number of visitors, we didn't actually get to sit and rest too much. So by the end of the first day, our legs and faces were aching from all that standing and smiling. Luckily, there was a health talk the very next day we were in office, kindly conducted by TOUCHE Elite. They even set up a portable massage table, and I very politely announced to my colleagues that if there was a massage demonstration, I'll even learn from that 46 year old dude in Toa Payoh (apparently more videos of his idiocy has been surfacing online) and shove old people out of my way. Just please dun film it. 

Sadly, it was more a facial / skin care demonstration. The old people in the office must be thinking "Heng Ah". Go through their site, you can see that they have really effective skin care products and services, so much so that I purchased a promotional package from them. It also helped that they gave away a lot of freebies.

I had 2 free bottles!

Apart from the free collagen (which has an aftertaste smelling like someone made me lick a stinky foot), there were various bath samples and other skin care products to remind me that I dun smell like roses every day. 

All these were on top of the promotional rates that we enjoyed for some of the services they have to offer. Based on the state of my aching body, I immediately signed up for the  massage. It might not be sufficient to fully relieve my aging muscles, so if any lady would gladly volunteer their massage services, my home address is in Clementi... (pm me for more details). 

It seems that in every post, I am not at all subtly hinting for ladies to volunteer for various activities. I wonder why it's not working. Maybe having 12 readers per post isn't that successful after all, especially when 5 are from me using different browsers.


Last Friday was a really warm day, but there it was some Mexican festival 'Cinco de Mayo' which I found out later, had nothing to do with mayonnaise. Misleading title much? So I was headed to Chimichangas at Dunlop Street cos they had some really awesome promos. They also had shitloads of people so in order to grab some decent food before fainting, we came across this Spanish Tapas place along the same street. Zsofi Tapas Bar.

disco ball illuminated by the moon

chillax looking bar on level 2

The ambience was wonderful, although the warm weather could have been offset with more fans in the place, otherwise, I had little to no complaints.

Small tip on drinking wine: Red wine is best served at 16-18 degrees Celcius, NOT room temperature. I know they say room temperature in Europe, but that's actually the temperature in their cellars, which is significantly cooler and less humid than a tropical country. So dun be geh kiang (a smart-ass) and announce that wines can be consumed at 30+ freaking degrees in an outdoor restaurant.


Also, one good thing about this venue, 1 bottle of wine gets you 3 plates of tapas! Free! I like free. And the wine is reasonably priced and has a decent aroma.

see also shiok

full combo for the night

So all in all, while there could have been more wind, but it was a very comfortable drinking place, and I highly recommend you spending a date night there. It sure beat the sweaty crowd at Chimichangas since we had spacious seating available, as well as mood music to top it all off. I will however try that place in future, so let's see how that works out.

Oh ya, after that I made short visits to Skyline and Zouk. 

Both views were from me looking up. Although one was to see far away and one was to see if the goldfish would fall off the ceiling. I prefer Zouk. They had aircon, so full marks there. And for a change, nobody was dancing beside me and calling me uncle. #truestoryforanotherday.

Signing off,
KJ

Fun Fact:  Red wine is good, even Jesus turned water into wine for his flock. Party on.

It's better to trim your crotch hair

I totally mean it when I say your balls got to be trimmed, but I'll leave it for a later segment. And I'll even be showing a picture to show you why that is so. Scroll later la, my posts aren't very long, so we'll get to that really quickly.

The first thing I wanted to talk about was Good Friday, cos as you know, Singapore's infamous Holy Turd Pastor was sentenced a pitiful amount of jail time, and thankfully the AGC has stepped in and is considering an appeal to lengthen the jail-time. This led to the con-job church asking for even MORE money to help pay for past lawyers' fees. 

How dumb do you think your flock are?

Guess that $50m didn't last very long. For those who are actually helping by donating to that specific crowdfund, WTF is wrong with you? Wake up can or not.

I also need money, but not $50m. Just a few thousands so that I can go look for bigger flats, have quality furniture (read: not IKEA) and completely renovate the home to look damn fancy, all without any bank loans of any sort. I will add in a crowdfunding link here in a matter of days. Not a joke.

(But in the meantime, I gladly welcome SPONSORS for furniture / electrical appliances / internal designers / renovation contractors to showcase your work. I promise to blog and promote you in every single post for 6 months.)

I also want to travel, not to extravagant places but maybe Bangkok in July. I sort of thought up a short trip and I think I would love a free holiday. I also promise to fully enjoy it with your money. Confirm chop guarantee.

asking for hand-outs from home

Of course, the easier way would be to simply do well at work rather than ask for hand-outs, although I am still accepting those sponsors. Please be patient and give me time to start that crowdfunding thingy. And to do well at work, it's best to do what you love, since you'll never have to work a day in your life. Unless of course your top skill is cutting grass using a USB cable.

Then maybe think of feasible work options. But then again there are always alternative ways to get things pushed through at work.

even the Girl Scouts got the right idea

And of course, the best way to get what you want to afford, is to keep applying for jobs until you get that interview. Now, I have made countless presentations over the years, and an interview is exactly that. The only difference is, you are simply presenting yourself. Think of yourself as a product, there is no one on Earth who can know that product better than you. 

I heard dabbing is a good move these days

This reminds me of an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S where Chandler asked Phoebe to help him with his job interview. If you do not know this reference, skip ahead. And I dun think you should be reading my blog, or any blog.

P: Hi, I'm Regina Felangie. Come on in. (extending hand)
C: Chandler Bing. (shaking her hand)
P: Bing, what an unusual name. (sitting down)
C: Ah ha, you should meet my Uncle, Badaa! (making an air drum gesture while saying badaa)
P: ...
C: I'll, let myself out.

Ok, it's funnier if you watch it. (0:34 to 0:56)

Now, with the various dating apps that I have tried to use, many girls have swiped left on me. Shame on you. Especially those with profiles claiming to be looking for a guy with a sense of humour. Limbeh not funny enough ah. Tmd. Plus I'm old enough to be mature at the same time too.

dun read his name out loud in the train

Of course I have gone on dates that didn't go too well. But that's cos I am just a picky person, so for those who I have turned away or stopped texting, I apologise. At least I didn't do it publicly.

So to know me as a person on dates, I think at times I do come across as stiff, or at times maybe a little too eager to agree. I mean, I read somewhere that ladies love a guy who shares common interests. So can't really blame me right? I only try cos I'm interested.

Sadly, these two memes seem to describe me totally. Shooting myself in the foot when I should be keeping calm and act my age. It's been a while since I last dated properly, and been almost a decade since I last had a steady relationship, so excuse me. In my time, the sentence "Let's go steady leh" actually meant being boyfriend girlfriend for real. And it was always exclusive, not the open relationships that I keep hearing about these days. What's up with that? And more importantly, why wasn't I a part of any of that?

Luckily, I think I had a really great couple of dates out with one particular lady, and it's a different feeling from all the other dates, I'm so much more myself and less nervous. It's comfortable, and I dare say it's been a really long time since I had the chance to enjoy that. But also for now I'll just keep being me and not think too far ahead. No point scaring her away. 

Notice how I so subtly weaved in that I am interested in that lady? Damn my writing has vastly improved since the first post. Of which I am keeping it unedited to remind myself never to write that way again. Cos.. eeyer.

referenced from a Kumar stand-up comedy joke, details in next post

So yeah, if I'm able to write a post at the end of the week about some food for 2 and beers, wheeee. Fingers crossed. Jeng jeng jeng (dramatic music).

Oh and talking about the title. As I also mentioned, I'm looking to go for a short trip in July. And in that event, accidental morning wood or the dropping of a towel after a shower at the hotel pool might occur. Or even worse, my shorts may come loose if any water sports are involved. Guys, keep it trimmed for hygiene's sake. Better yet,

So to conclude, I decided to stay away from the United Airlines controversy cos it's old news. And I wish all of you had a lovely Good Friday long weekend, I was mostly bedridden with a flu and cough. Indulge me in adding this silly Leo DiCaprio meme to end this post.

no reason for this, just quite funny

Signing off,
KJ

Fun Fact: When hunting for jobs, leave your bow and arrows at home. They seldom match your office attire.