Q: What's long and hard, and has cum in it?

A: Cucumber.


Happy TGIF folks! There is absolutely no link from the title to the content today. I just found that joke hilarious. Moving on.

This will be one narcissistic post, cos it's about what I came across, as well as how I enjoy memes. Light hearted ones though, the gloomy, dark humour types can find their groove elsewhere.

But first off, we talk about places. And I occasionally go to this place with the address of 566 Woodlands Road. It's a very interesting decor for a cafe. Although dun be fooled by the name, it's more a zhi char type restaurant, reasonably priced, and with cheap beer on tap. It also comes attached to a pub beside where there is outdoor seating, a satay and otah stall, as well as a pool table and darts within the indoor area.

love the decor

I dun recommend showing off your pool skills though, the crowd here are so used to the table, that it seems they get more accurate the more they drink. No logic. I have yet to win a single game in all the times I was there, and I would like to think I'm a half decent pub player. I suck at darts, so no I'm not joining you for those.

I was there to have a farewell dinner for a friend who will be overseas for 2 years, serving the nation. Take care and be safe, BFF.

Another thing that tickled my fancy was when I went for a client appointment at Fusionopolis. This was what had me in stitches when I went to pee. I apologise for splashing everywhere except into the urinal, it was your fault for making it funny.

Chambers of Relief, get it?

It's in one of the government bodies office, and was done by the client who I had the pleasure of meeting up with. Great job, dude! Now, could we please get that contract signed so we can commence our project? I already praised you leh.

And on to memes, cos I didn't actually go out much, or take many pics of drinks since I didn't. Yes, and even though today is a Friday, I am not heading to a pub or bar after work. 

Fridays are usually dress down days, so this one meme seems pretty apt for the casual Friday attire.

For all those in the CBD area who wear skimpy shorts to work, or flip flops, or trendy attire, do make sure you are still appropriately dressed to look respectable. If you are going out to party, bring clothes to change, or better yet, go home to change after work.

Of course if you are a sexy (lady), likes to chill after work while dressed skimpily and is single and available, my FaceBook is Lee Kenn Ji, pm me there. Clicking on my name leads you to my FB account. If however you are attached, you'll have to show me evidence of your very sickly partner who has no friends. Not really a fan of getting beaten up by guys stronger than me. Especially not those with beast like strength.

I also have friends who kindly shared memes with me, and the next set is what we described as the Disney collection.

Since Beauty and the Beast is hot topic right now

And also Bestiality and gay depictions. But hey, neither of those topics float my boat, next! I do like the way NewNation.sg has their say in the topic though. Check them out here. (Did anyone notice the link from beast like strength to Beauty and the Beast? Wink wink.)

On the topic of Disney princesses, you have to love the rags to riches story of Cinderella.

By now you probably know that the Disney version is the sweet and lovely one. Here are some facts about the original, 9 Facts about Cinderella. *spoiler alert* The stepsisters cut their toes off. WTF. The Brothers Grimm really do live up to their name.

Speaking of names...

I can't watch Toy Story and look at 'Woody' the same way ever again...

How smooth is my transition so far! Pretty sure Tom Hanks knew what the name means, probably just likes being remembered for being an erect penis. 

Oh, I guess there is a reference to the title after all. Good thing it's not too vulgar like some characters.

nothing compared to R2-D2 anyway

This is old but gold. Imagine watching Star Wars and adding in your vulgarities to the dialogue. Damn that's the type of jokes my bro and I did when watching foreign movies in their original language. Made the shows so much more enjoyable, fun times as a kid.

Sorry for the long post. Let me end with a genius sales meme for you.

I want one!

To conclude, I think my type of humour is just seeing the funny side in stuff. The world is a dreary place as it is, lighten up and your days go by a lot better.

Signing off,
KJ

Fun fact: To understand perspective; the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the live seafood in the ship's kitchen.

Chasing away those Monday blues

It's Monday once again, or as office workers all over the world describe it: What? Already?!

For the one person who has followed my blog in sequence; yes you, you wonderful stranger, I ended my last post heading into another night of drinks. So while I would like to have materials about such a night, all I can do is recommend the venue I was at. If you like KTV pubs with Chinese / Cantonese songs being belted out all night long, have a go at Room of Mellis located at South Bridge Road. Erm and if you see their link, they have really pretty SG ladies working there too. 😍😍😍

I didn't really take many pictures since I was busy enjoying their Happy Hour beer promo which lasted till 8.30pm. Being the cheapo that I am, I did my utmost best to finish my first tower before HH ended, so that I could get a second one at the same price.

can you blame me?

This of course did not put me in good stead with neither the lovely staff who helped me reserve the table since she doesn't earn commission at HH, nor the owners who think beers should be guzzled when it's at normal price. Of course, they do appreciate me turning up to drink really often, hence I have not been thrown out of the place yet. And as all my friends know, I only head down regularly because of the cheap beer and beautiful decor.

the lion has 2 eyes, just that i was aiming for the lights

Absolutely nothing to do with any of the eye candy working there. Really.

Saturday. I slept. A lot. The end.

Sunday morning I dragged myself awake to play a few games of football with my usual kakis at Bt Batok. I can't give away the location since it's a basketball court and technically we are playing the wrong game. And when I say play, I pretty much strolled around trying to get a tan and perspire to reduce my ever increasing waistline.

old picture, some have since retired

One thing that this picture did not capture is that the place also has sheltered seating. Sheltered seating. So when the weather got too hot, we could hide in the shade and recuperate a little bit. At the peak of our attendance, we had the option to play 'Winner rests'. So it motivates you to win the game and take a breather. Losing gets you extra playing time in scorching heat, we all tried our best to win.

However, only 6 of us turned up, and one was a 60 year old uncle (former professional player no less) but there was only so much running we could do. Bear in mind this was the first game after Christmas 2016 for a few of us. Me, I meant me. So the game ended early and I had the chance to beat the queue for the lunch of my choice.

A very happy shout out to Soi19 Thai Wanton Mee! Thanks for opening a branch at Jurong East Blk 130, just beside the CPF building. The queue thankfully isn't as long as the one at AMK, so my tired, weakened and shaking legs didn't have to hold out for too long.

apologies for the tops of heads, my arms were tired too

Maybe because it was before 12pm, I managed to grab a bowl of noodles (Large for $5), a separate order of wanton soup ($3.50), and still have ample seats to choose from. So I had ample space to do what all foodies do, Instagram my meal. (Blatant advertising coming right up)

erm, be my follower? please please

Then something thoroughly amused me. I received this comment from another user.

soccer or the noodles?

I mean I know my soccer session was breath-taking, not due to my skills but cos I was really out of breath. But to describe this bowl of wanton noodles as breathtaking, National Geographic, sign me up. I mean come on la, simi sai. You want more followers also at least comment in context leh. Wah biang.

So that's pretty much Sunday cos thereafter I was comatose until this morning. And while I was struggling to not curse and swear on the MRT, I came across a few memes by The Trollercoaster that made my morning commute a lot better.

To conclude, I hope your weekend was a lot more eventful than mine, and your Monday a bit better after reading my ramblings.



Signing off,
KJ

Fun Fact: To eliminate Monday blues, take MC and start work on Tuesdays.