10k followers already! Haha! April Fool's... Shit.

Now, April Fool's Day has come and gone. But do you actually know how it started? Origin story coming up:

April 1st is named FOOL'S DAY, after Steve April. He was born on 1st April 1579. He did 105 businesses in his lifetime. He lost all his father's assets, and so everyone started calling him father of the fools. At 19, he married a 61-year-old woman who divorced him after a year because of his foolishness. 

He used to read all kinds of fake stories like you are doing now. Ba Dum Tss!

Sorry, I'm not really bothered about the actual origins of April Fool's Day. It's simply a day where tasteless pranks are labelled as harmless jokes. Dude, licking all the forks and spoons before giving them out to your friends as an April Fool's joke? Not cool. Even until today, I have to keep reminding myself never to do that again, and to always send apology texts to my friends. It's been 20 years, but I think eventually they will start replying to my messages once more. Fingers crossed!

I actually tried it. Stupid onion cutting ninjas. Credits to 9GAG

Oh well, at least I will be looking to sort out my personal housing situation within the next couple of months, and will therefore be occupied with that instead of only the dating scene. Although, I am buying resale, and I very recently read about the news about not all flats being eligible for en bloc. Please please let the place I am looking at be eligible. I love PAP! Does that help?

I wish I had followed my Primary School friend's advice, and joined Financial Planning with her, that way I might have a lot more spare cash to afford better choices in the resale market. And I also wish I didn't add her on FB cos she keeps posting overseas trips. Sometimes to nearby short trips like BKK or Taiwan, but too many are in Europe and US. Tmd.

Of course, there are horror stories about pickpockets and robbers in Europe, and with the appalling economic conditions all over that continent, it's relatively understandable. Plus, with the major clamping down on PRC Officials and their dirty money, lesser tourists from Mainland China are travelling abroad, which means lesser rich people for Europeans to rob, steal and cheat. Wasted.

In fact, this has even affected popular touristy locations in Asia, like Korea and Singapore's own two casinos. I think the latest projected figures show a 70% drop in tourist spending for South Korea! Pardon my fixation with South Korea. The lady celebrities (whether plastic or not) are either Clara sexy, or super cute like TWICE.

Clara, the real Goddess of Nectar and All things Divine

Super cute right...

But let's get back to the traveling mishaps. The biggest tragedy of course, is the number of tourists trapped at popular attractions.

I feel for you guys

I told my friends to be careful there, I dun wish to lose friends in such a dangerous manner. Be safe guys, hugs. In fact, if it were me, I'll just visit popular eating places to try out all the local delicacies. Just make sure you learn their language so you get better service.

Guaranteed to work every time

To conclude, this was really a post about talking cock. And my weekend disappeared way too quickly.

Signing off,
KJ

Fun Fact: A blind man walked into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

What a Sweaty Thursday

'Tis a beautiful day, the Sun is shining, birds are chirping and the trains are standing still.
 

to show boss not my fault

Got to give it to SMRT though, with this level of consistency, they'll get any ISO that was applied for. Bao jiak.

I wanted to take a picture of the rush hour tranquility, but there were many many scowls around, the queues looked like they were vibrating with all those heads shaking and I was also perspiring buckets from the wait. Although since I was wearing a white shirt, I might have been in strong contention to win any wet shirt contest. Sexy me.

So at this current time in my life, I have grown a little older, and have finally come of age - to buy a HDB under the Singles Scheme. That's because none of you ladies out there decided to take one for the team and settle for me. And you know what, you know what, lucky you. Anyways, since I have no one to share the costs joys of buying and decorating my own place, I had to find cheap alternatives to home furnishing.

free mattress lucky draw courtesy of Lotus Mattress Singapore

I have included the link to their FaceBook page here and also in the image above, so everyone gets a chance too! I hope you lose. Cos I want to win. Please please.

speaking of FaceBook. I'm awesome

Anyway I better get back to getting some work done so that I still can afford to slack, and will update more when I got more stuff in my head. 
 

just found this random thing hilarious

Please do leave any comments if you feel there's a need to improve this blog in any way, I will take it into consideration and implement them if I think it's not stupid.    

Oh, and it's also my dad's birthday, Happy Birthday Pa! 

He doesn't read blogs so this is just for my amusement.

Signing off,
KJ

Fun Fact: A hula hoop can't do hula hoops with another hula hoop of the same size.

Mid-CNY

Right, so I'm back on this cos I'm a little bored at work. 

It's a Friday, and so far I have:

1. helped a colleague choose cuff-links online (though she isn't buying them for me, damn it)
2. taken part in an online contest to win a free retro looking keyboard (LOFREE, I'm adding this awesome link for any soul here to have a chance to win too)
3. cleared some Alliance Quest nodes in Marvel's Contest of Champions. My Alliance is Singapore Chillax Alliance btw, in case you are also playing and need some company.

Ok, as I promised to myself, we shall move on to current affairs.

HDB is going to spend S$100mil on lift maintenance. That's good, so hopefully we do not see anymore pets on leashes getting BDSM freaky with the lifts. You have to bear in mind, they can't really speak, so 'Bark Bark Woof Woof' could either be "Ooh yeah baby tighter' or their safe-word, kind of hard to tell so let's not play guess what they mean with your pets.

Road safety next. I think road accidents are very much in the news lately. From drivers doing illegal turns, dashing through red lights, sio kan lor (heading the wrong direction) idiots, hit and run bastards (both on the roads and in carparks) and clowns who squeeze their cars at speed through tight and heavy traffic. My personal two cents worth is that this is not a new spat of incidents. All these have been going on since the first cars were sold on our shores.

The first variable that has changed, is the widespread implementation of the in-car camera, which was once upon a time most likely first introduced in a Merc S-Class. The second variable, is definitely the viral usage of social media. Even my 73 year old aunt uses FaceBook and Instagram!! So for those out there who forgot what they learnt during their driving lesson days, I think just simple common sense would prevent you from being filmed by the massive number of car cameras these days. Or if you think you feel like contributing to our reserves via fines, who am I to judge.

I shall not touch on politics as of now, since I can't really be bothered to follow the Trump nonsense. Or the Philippine drug war. Or the Brexit hooha. All I know is, Son Goku of the DragonBall franchise is the mascot for the 2020 Japan Olympics, and that is just awesome.

Signing off,
KJ