50 shades of light petting

Unlike an earlier post which had a misleading title, this is going to be one that is true to what you read above. Yes, I engaged in light petting over the weekend, and yes oh yes, I will spill all the details, and leave out as little information as I can.

Where do I begin... 

Ok, so a friend of mine texted me earlier in the week, saying that her bf was back in UK for the moment, and wanted me to meet up and engage in some light petting. As a single and unattached guy, with no weekend commitments, I didn't have any reason to refuse. In fact, I was looking forward to it with a bit of excitement. There might be some touching, some kissing, a bit of saliva in awkward parts of the body... Sounds like a weekend well spent to me.

We decided to meet up in Bugis, where there was a nice and quiet corner at the top level of Bugis+, previously known as Illuma. I dun know what people were talking about when they said the retail segment in Singapore is dead, Bugis was absolutely packed.

I had to squeeze past throngs of people

I even got there early to make sure I looked presentable, had no offensive smells and had clean hands, in case they were needed in various places of the body.

And at a cost of only $12.50 per pax, we got a 2 hour slot reserved solely for us. Best $12.50 I've ever spent. We are the Furballs (WTF) have some of the cutest canines in town! Docile, trained and attention seeking so long you have a bag of treats for them, you are in for a delight. The treats only cost $9 for 4 packets, and guarantees you attention from the doggos. Dun skimp on trivialities if you want to go there and have some time with them.

I was introduced to the dogs when I got there, although I do have to apologise to the staff for not paying attention, there was a mini little Pomeranian puppy just kaypoh-ing the moment we got into the play area.

kaypoh but shy

Now, you seriously expected me to pay attention to any dialogue when this little munchkin was looking me straight in the eye? She had the daintiest little strut too, so very precious. Maybe because of her young age, she was still really wary of most of the patrons, and so was just roaming around, eating a piece of treat or two and then staying near the entrance.

I was very enamoured by a French Bulldog. She neither runs nor scampers, all she does is stroll up to you like a boss, stands there staring at you till you feed her. Total badass.

hooman, you have food. mine now.

Like I said, she is the cutest. When I was a little slow in opening the packet of treats cos I wanted to take that beautiful little face, this happened.

I very nearly just poured the whole packet into her mouth. Oh and when I mentioned that these canines are trained, I meant it. They know to shake both paws, sit, lie down and gobble your treats. They do the gobbling best. It's like they were born for that.

Now, there was also this precious little West Highland Terrier. Super patient when it came to waiting for treats.

As you can see, it started by sitting beside me, then resting it's head on my lap for a good 5 minutes, and then decided to just sit on my lap so I have no choice but to feed it every time I open my treat bag. And yes, almost a whole bag of treats went into only her tummy.

For the first hour, some of the other dogs were napping, probably food coma from all the scooby snacks. Then when they finally got up, this Shih Tzu was apparently pretty hungry again. I also think she snores while napping, since she even snorts when sitting beside.

By then I was saving the treats because one of these little bitches had the nerve to be so adorable and affectionate that I had very little left, and as such had to ration what I had left in order to give my attention to more of these girls. And because I did not feed her with my utmost generosity, I was viciously mauled. And I caught it all on camera.

However, I understand that this establishment has minimised the risk of us getting attacked by this dogs, and as such will simply let sleeping dogs lie. But let that be a warning to everyone that you better have ample food left if you wish to protect your leg hair.

Now I move on to the number one favourite and the number one public enemy of the place. Drum roll.

In first place, this really really lepak Dachshund, aka Sausage Dog. This girl's name I remember, Slinky. Cos it's the same as that slinky dog toy in Toy Story.

She very slowly strolls around to survey the scene, only stopping when it fancies her. Which is not very often. But look at that expression, and those short little legs are just so cute. And I'm a manly man. 

Next up is the most hyperactive girl in the cafe, she has boundless energy so long as you have a bag of treats. She will jump onto your lap, slobber plenty of saliva all over your fingers/hands/knees/face/exposed areas just to get your attention. I had to wash my hands and face at least 3 times because of her.

And it wasn't just me too, all other patrons were treated fairly and slobbered with the same amount of enthusiasm, if you had food. Although at the end I did run out of snacks so she went for a piece of tissue and then a bottle cap I was holding. She must be the envy of all the other dogs with that insatiable appetite and slim waist.

Sunday was a bit more peaceful. I only had two cats at my brother's home to contend with. One was a bit more attention seeking, the other just liked looking outside.

So there, I've spilled all the very juicy details. I hope you felt my quivering excitement as much as I had during this memorable event.

To conclude, I love light petting. Any ladies keen to let me bring you out for that?

Signing off,
KJ

Fun Fact: The 2 movies titled "50 Shades of..." do not involve conventional colouring lessons.